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January 13, 2013
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oh hi there by Syntactics oh hi there by Syntactics
Gift for ~crasydwarf

Obligatory song.

The background took way longer than drawing the ponies. Please don't ask.

Line Feed © ~crasydwarf
Jay © me
MLP:FiM © Hasbro
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:iconcrasydwarf:
Critiquing my own gift. Because apples.

Well, if I am going to do this, might as well do it properly (or as close to properly as I can manage).

Style wise, it's another great example of your beautiful and unique art.
Line Feed does seem a little bit more faded then Jay, but on a closer look it does seem to be related to his (much) lighter color palette.

Love the expression work. Jay just looks so happy! And Line Feed looks quite perplexed and caught off guard (which let's face it, it's a common state of mind for him).
A good testament to this would be the linked song. Mixes perfectly with this scene.

Well executed. Line Feed's stubby spiky tail is there, same with Jay's distinct curly lock of hair.
If I had to nitpick, only thing would be Line Feeds frontal left leg. The way you placed it can, at first glance, make it appear to be separated from the body.

As far as originality goes, it couldn't be more original since no one ever did a gift for me :P
And I love you so very very much for doing so.

Oh, almost forgot, I simply adore the background!
(obligatory poking ^^)
In all fairness, I do enjoy your backgrounds. They are always brightly colored and lively, but never enough to distract attention away from our little ponies.

Overall, a great piece, and I absolutely adore it.
Thank you kindly, my dear friend.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconplaya369:
There comes a time in every artists life when their work becomes... 'less' then what it once was. I've experienced this with writing, and some of my other, more secret talents. You just stop finding yourself improving, and start making little errors here and there. This picture, although it is well done, has many unfortunate errors.

The first one I noticed when observing detail is the young, blue maned colt's face. Now, to some, they would question what's wrong. I've seen you make better eyes, noses and mouths than those, Syn. The way you made this unicorn was just off. And it's not just his face. It's also his hind leg that doesn't look natural, his neck is too skinny looking, at least to me and the only thing that really makes and saves you from losing almost two stars on vision is the fact that the other is done much more nicely.

With this one, the picture took a while to load, so it was that slow, anticipating line moving slowly down to reveal the picture, and while it did, I fell in love with this yellow mane you drew. It feels very Hawaiian, and looks to move like smoke. His eyes, the real catcher for him, they were well done, and they don't look square like his flightless friend who seems to be thinking, "Huh?"

I remember back in my classes, my teacher would say that capturing the face, and making it have personality is one of the hardest, and important things to do with drawing, sculpting; you name it. But it can also be one of the funnest. With this, however, that colt's face tells me the artist didn't feel up to putting everything he had into this, the same way he'd put everything into his earlier art works.

Now, I'm not saying this was bad. It was very well done, and I adore it just as much as the next one, but you just hit a small slope. That's the great thing about those. You go down for a little while, but then you get right back up! I can already tell you're going to be going way up once you get out of that slope. I can tell that's where you are, too. You can thank this colts face for that. He could've been drawn much better, I just know it. But don't worry. The rest was wonderful. Especially the background.

I could tell you put some serious work into that, but maybe, a little too much. Next time, pace yourself and make sure the faces, eyes, and wings are all as good as the rest of the picture. I've noted that your ears are exceptional. You really know how to craft those correctly. You see, I've seen artists draw them and they come out looking like the pony has shovels instead! So bravo on being able to draw those almost as good as your manes.

Till the next critique request. Stay in touch.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconstarclanwatches:
StarClanwatches Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love Jay's color Scheme! Colors colors colors! LOVEABLE COLORS EVERYWHEREEEEE!!! :iconeverywhereplz:
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:iconsyntactics:
Syntactics Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks! I added lots more yellow into it this time. I love yellow.
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:iconstarclanwatches:
StarClanwatches Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lelow. What a fun color!
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:iconplaya369:
playa369 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
Just dropping by to say I loved this.
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:iconsyntactics:
Syntactics Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thank you!

I must say, I love your honesty in your critiques; that's pretty rare, I find. I can see where you're coming from, but I was sort of experimenting here with the lineart. I was very much influenced by *ponywise's art style.
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:iconplaya369:
playa369 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
I've seen this one around, but I never actually stopped to take the time and observe his work the way I've done with yours. That will need fixing though.

As for my critique, I do those mainly because I see your work and think there's most likely some way I can assist. I use to teach, not art, but just teach. I'd say I was good at it, even though I don't do it anymore, but helping you out by pointing out what I found right and/or wrong with your art sometimes brings back certain, fond memories. Anyways, til next time... Oh, god look at the time! I'm supposed to be getting ready to meet relatives in a mere hour! Lol.
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:iconsyntactics:
Syntactics Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student Digital Artist
You used to teach? That's pretty cool to know! What subject, may I ask?
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:iconplaya369:
playa369 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
Algebra, mostly. I also did very little English tutoring for a year, and I wish I was better at that back then, like I am now. But that career ended a few years ago.
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:iconsyntactics:
Syntactics Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Oh, that's interesting! I personally love algebra. Trigonometry is just... ugh.
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you like your new job more.
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:iconcrasydwarf:
crasydwarf Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You asked for it ;)
I did try to be as objective as possible. Hope I managed it.

Thank you so much Syn.
It's gorgeous and I love it. You're the best friend ever :huggle:
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